I am sorry that I did not post anything last week. I was supposed to talk to someone / interview, but I felt that I was not prepared yet, until I have a more accurate idea of what I wanted to do. Any way, I was looking around, trying to find out who I wanted to talk to, or, in the other way around, who would like to talk to me. “Which community will I work with?” was a question spinning in my head. I keep thinking in the “salsa dancers”, also in my own (new) community here in Bedstuy. An I kept open to other topic, any good idea that could arise would be welcome. But instead of becoming confident about the project, I was being very pasive. Sometimes I saw someone that I though were interesting, but I did not wanted to approach. I must say that I am not a shy person, that was not the point. I though that maybe It was for being foreign. And the answer was “yes”. As a foreing person, for me its not easy to pick a community that I do no know, It takes a while to get confident, and I do not have that time, I do not have time to create relashionships, I need to do this project in 2 more weeks.
I decided to go back into my previous draws and finished them, put lines and color, so I would be able to show them finished to the people I already drew and start a new conversation. I did that.
On Sunday I went to the laundry (with my sketchbook) while my clothes were turning I went to let my organic garbage to the community garden, which is near the house of Jenny, the woman I draw two weeks ago. By coincidence we cross in the street, she was with a lot of cloth, going to buy some medicine to the Deli. She told me she was sick, I did not say anything, she say “see you next time” and I continued to the garden. There were some men there, I could have talk to them but i did not feel in the mood either, then back in the laundry I started to talk to Seleine again, she is the owner of the laundry and she is amazing, we chat a lot, but I didn’t felt confortable to ask her for an interview, neither to draw her (she moves too much anyway, It would be hard).
Then I got back home, a bit frustrated because I did not get anything new for my homework and worst, any new accurate idea for the final project. At the end of the day I took my bike and went to Prospect Park, also I carried my sketchbook, maybe I would find something there. On my way back it was night, I looked around, and watch, of course, some interesting scenes, there were the jewish communities with man women and kids playing around. I kept riding, then I watched some teenagers playing basketball in Bedstuy, at that point I turned back and almost get into the court, but I though “why would I be the one to told a story about Bedstuy”. I realiced most of the people I have meet in Bedstuy are from black race, and I have heard the sentitivity that there is in their communities about how white people tells their stories, I didn’t wanted to do that, so I kept riding, until home.
At that point of the Sunday (10pm) the situation get clear to me, I was in a crisis. I could not find the point of view to approach anything. My foreign status arised again and stronger. I am not yet prepared to tell the stories of these people, of this country, of this communities that I really do not understand. I realized though that the only way I can approach this project is from there, with my own questions and doubts. So I started to write. I started to research in the concept of community, the meanings of the word, it roots. I found myself thinking that the idea of community has a fissure, a cleft, a rift.
This Monday morning I went to the floor (ITP) and I meet Alex, a classmate. He saw the drawings I had over the table and get interested on them, we started to talk, I ask him which communities he felt part of, he answered “Itp, the basketball community, sports, the actors”. We get into the topic, I told him about my feeling of this rift in the concept of community. We keep talking, he brought up ideas of how technology affect sthe relationships, creating new communities but with lack of physical contact. I brought up how the political/economical system do not promote the idea of community. The conversation kept going and was very enlighting for me, at somepoint we started to talk about the boundaries in between communities, and how there is darkness on that zone. How the development of some communities effects others. How suddenly, all the precious value of the solidarity and protection that a community gives to its memebers, can be felt as as fear or a threat for others.
As I had to present a homework to my Programming a to Z class I decided to work with this topic and create this twitter bot.
And well, yesterday I posted on Instagram the drawing of the two women with the tatoos, so I stated to talk with one of them and I will have an interview/conversation with her on Wednesday.
I am still trying to give shape to this project, to find out how it should look and interact, and which should be the story. I am planning to use a webpage “Sunday_project”, that through the brownser display a story of this process, poping up questions through interaction with the mouse, and also the drawings and sounds of the conversations with people. Tomorrow I will work on a proposal, but at least I found a point of view.